11:35 AM EDT on Monday, July 17, 2006

By STUART WATSON / 6NEWS
E-mail Stuart: SWatson@WCNC.com

Amber Benitez (Holt)

Some might wonder how sex offenders can keep custody of their kids, but it's more common than one might think.

Prosecutors point out that sex offenders are not the same as sexual predators and they frequently have not molested their own kids. So judges let the offenders keep custody of their own kids, with certain restrictions – restrictions which are supposed to be enforced by probation officers. But what happens when a sex offender repeatedly breaks probation and it affects the kids?

That's the case of a Cabarrus County mother of three. Her name is Amber Holt. In the sex offender's registry she's listed as Amber Benitez, but she's since remarried. She's a mother of three kids and the oldest is 12-years-old. By profession she's a hair stylist.

Amber Benitez (Holt) was convicted in 2003 of having sex with a 15-year-old girl. But before Concord police arrested her, a High Point policeman had married her. Victor and Amber Benitez got divorced and shared custody of their two children and an older stepchild, all before she was convicted of the sex crime.

"I was pissed. I was very angry. I won't lie to you," Victor Benitez says, leaning forward from the couch in the living room of his Kannapolis home. "I was angry as hell about it."

Victor Benitez says he's angry because he says Amber repeatedly violated probation and the probation office didn't do much to stop it.

The judge repeatedly ordered her not to exchange pornography. But Amber Benitez not only exchanged pornography, she produced it.

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"She was on the Internet for joint sex with her and her husband and another couple," Victor Benitez says.

In explicit photos on a Web site, Amber’s face was hidden but not much else. (The photos have since been taken down). Her ex identified her by her tattoos and her "handle": "My raginredhead. " It's the same nickname she once used in her e-mail address and on her vanity license plate.

Victor Benitez gets visibly upset when he describes how his 12-year-old stepson found the Web site. His lip quivers and he struggles to keep it together. "(He) .... has been affected by this."

Victor Benitez says the boy even found a videotape of his mother with multiple partners. "He even told me the terminology: an 'o party.' He said an 'o party' - a sexual orgy party," Victor Benitez says. "He found condoms in his bedroom, used rub…condoms in his bedroom, beer caps and stuff like that in his bedroom."

6NEWS

Amber Benitez (Holt) used her briefcase to shield her face as 6NEWS Investigator Stuart Watson tried to ask her questions.

6NEWS Investigator Stuart Watson met with Amber Holt at the salon where she styles hair and he gave her his business card and explained what her ex-husband had said and told her we would like to interview her on camera. She said she would call her attorney but didn't return our call. Watson confronted her on camera, asking her pointedly if she didn't consider leaving home porn around a 12-year-old to be a violation of her probation. She threatened to call the police but didn't respond to the question.

But it's really not up to Amber Holt whether she broke probation. It's up to the probation office and the prosecutor.

District Attorney Roxanne Vaneekhoven confirmed that her office received the videotape and an assistant district attorney, Paul Holcomb, had reviewed it. But the only result was that the prosecutor asked the judge to extend Amber's probation for another year. Victor Benitez insists he told Holcomb about Amber Holt's appearance on the swinger's Web site in a face-to-face meeting, but Holcomb says he doesn't remember anything about a Web site.

The probation office refused to speak about Amber Holt citing privacy rules.

Victor Benitez accuses the DA's office and the probation office of not caring saying, "I hate to say that because I was a law enforcement officer."

Victor Benitez also adamantly believes that the prosecutor and the probation office treated Amber Holt differently from male sex offenders because she's a woman.

Victor Benitez points to the men in the room and says if they had been convicted sex offenders, prosecutors "... would have taken our children from us and thrown us in prison in neck breaking speed and you know it."

Legal experts who are familiar with family court issues tell 6NEWS it's up to the sentencing judge in criminal court to consider custody restrictions.

The experts say a family court judge wouldn't know about a sex offense or change the custody order unless the ex brought the new information to court.

Victor Benitez hasn't done that. He says he hasn't had the money to hire an attorney.

But after 6NEWS called the DA and the probation office and asked them about Victor's allegations, they ordered a new investigation of Amber Holt and filed court papers alleging a new probation violation.

A hearing on that violation is set for today, Monday, July 17.