Mike Vaughn, www.carolinascounseling.com
How to be mentally strong and resilient
1. Give thanks
This is more a way of life than anything else. It takes both the good and bad things that happen in life and interprets them with strength. To do this, we have to see a larger purpose for the things that we go through. That changes the paradigm with which we interpret challenges and trials.
2. Know where to draw the line between change and acceptance
Many mistakes people make revolve around anxiety over things that they cannot control. It is critical to be able to assess situations in our lives as to whether there is actually anything we can do about the situation. If there is: we need courage to change. If there isn’t we need to accept the situation as it is.
3. Own your responsibilities and mistakes
Blaming others is one of the most debilitating things a person can do. It does not solve any problems and it a massive growth inhibitor. It leaves the person in a very powerless position b/c much of their world is based on what other people do to them.
4. Do not “fail” only learn and grow
Those that are mentally tough do not view failure and mistakes as negatively as those that are not. They see those instances as opportunities. The major difference here is between the positive versus negative way a situation is internalized.
5. Let a few trusted others be intimately involved in your thoughts
For those that are mentally healthy and strong, they are not afraid to share their internal world with others. This allows others to have input and help ferret out possible flaws in thinking. None of us have right thinking all the time and so we all need to have outside feedback. Those that do this become mentally healthier and show they are secure to begin with.
6. Live and focus on today (learn from the past, plan for the future but live in today)
One day at a time is not just a cliché. The best use of our resources is to focus on those things that are happening currently. Many people live in the past or future and what comes with that way of living is inherent powerlessness and anxiety. Today is the only day that we can do something about.