Everyone has their own experience when it comes to in-laws. Some people have in-laws who are supportive and inclusive, while others have in-laws who want them as far away from the family as possible. Regardless of which type of in-law you have, it is necessary for you to strive to have a positive relationship with your in-laws. Below are some tips that will help you mend or maintain your in-law relationship:
#1. Bless your in-laws. Give your mother-in-law and father-in-law a gift from you personally for no specific occasion. Just let them know that they are an important part of your life. Get your spouse involved in selecting the gift to make sure it is something they will like. Simple gestures like this let them know that you appreciate them and care about making them happy.
#2. Hang out with your in-laws. Allow your in-laws to participate in your world. Invite your in-laws over to your home to play board games, go on a double date to the movies and dinner, or just have them over to hang out with your family. You can even invite your mother-in-law to attend exercise classes with you. This will allow for individual bonding time. They will appreciate your willingness to choose to include them in your lives. Believe it or not, you will have a good time. When you are laughing and enjoying yourselves together, it helps remove unwanted stress and tension in the relationship.
#3. Remember you can’t change them. The sooner you learn this point, the better off you will be. Just make a conscious decision to accept your in-laws for who they are and stop trying to change them. Focus on the qualities that you like most about your in-laws. Your marriage and your mental sanity will be so much better when you implement this philosophy into your in-law relationship.
#4. Be positive at family gatherings. Instead of dreading attending the family get together, make a decision to have a positive attitude. Don’t focus on things that aren’t going right, because it will spin the conversations down a negative path. Keep the conversations positive and uplifting. Whatever you do, don’t gossip to other family members present about your in-laws. They will find out what you said.
#5. Communicate your feelings with respect. You can’t let things fester if you are bothered by something that your in-laws are doing. However, when you express your views, you have to do it honestly and respectfully. The goal is to have a healthy loving relationship with your in-laws. By having an open line of communication, you will reach your goal quickly.
#6. Let your spouse address big issues. It is better to let your spouse deal with their own parents when it comes to confrontational issues. For example: As the daughter-in-law, I take the back seat and let my husband do the driving when there is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. For some reason, it comes across differently when it comes from their own child vs. the daughter in-law.
#7. Keep one thought in mind: Always remember, that no matter how you feel about your in-laws, they have been the most important people in your spouse’s life since he was born. It is beneficial to your marriage, that you do everything possible to have a good relationship with your in-laws.
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