Special report: Too much to lose

CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- Mention eating disorders and most people think about teenagers and young women. But increasingly anorexia is becoming more common among middle-aged women.

In fact one of the most well known treatment facilities for eating disorders has now opened an office in Charlotte.

Dawn Brunetti, 48, received help there. Just six months ago her views about food were unhealthy. She even hated going to the grocery store.

"I used to tell myself that food was poison," she said.

In fact that’s the message she’s been telling herself on and off for nearly 30 years. Whenever life felt uncontrollable she would control what she put in her mouth.

She had been treated for depression, but it wasn’t until she was 48 and weighed just 93 pounds that she got the help she needed.

"The eating disorder just took away my bones and I had a heart condition and I was down to an unhealthy weight," Brunetti said.

She remembers her doctor’s words.

"And she said to me, 'You're starving.' I said, 'Oh wow.' And then I ended up having the heart spasm and I couldn't move out of my bed."

Twenty to 30 percent of the patients seeking treatment nationally and at the Renfrew Center in Charlotte are over the age of 30.

"We live in a youth and thin obsessed culture that promotes discontent in our bodies as we age for both men and women," said Dr. Angela Redlak.

But it’s not just about looks. Eating disorders at any age are about control and mid-life is full of the uncontrollable.

"Transition, life changes such as aging, physical changes with the body, divorce, marriage, remarriage, death of a parent," Redlak said.

Despite a happy marriage, the weight of worry about a daughter in Iraq and the adjustment of moves to two new cities in five years pushed Brunetti to the edge

"There's a lot of embarrassment, a lot of shame. We should know better. We are older and wiser," Brunetti said.

But Brunetti is recovering and hoping other middle-aged women ignore the shame and choose treatment. Her decision made life better, not just for her but her husband as well.

"I think we've grown closer together because Dawn doesn't have to hide anything anymore," he said.

"It's just nice to sit down and know that I can eat this food and know that it's good for me," Brunetti said.

One other problem for middle-aged women who need help is that they can often be misdiagnosed. Many of the side effects of eating disorders -- heart problems, osteoporosis -- are conditions that sometimes come with age.