10:43 AM EDT on Wednesday, May 19, 2004

By BRIAN MORAN / Special to WCNC.com

American Idol had a tough act to follow after the shameless new ploy that the WB network pulled out of their hat on Monday night. They premiered their new brainstorm called Superstar. The premise is that young pop-star hopefuls compete for a record deal. The catch is they are totally unaware that the worst singer wins the prize. They think they are legitimate singers while the rest of the country knows they are making fools of themselves. That’s funny, I think I have heard that idea somewhere before. In fact, I feel like I have been watching it for weeks. It’s called American Idol 3.

Seriously, for those of you who missed it, I wouldn’t let it happen again, unless you have delusions of getting into heaven. It’s one of those shows that makes you feel like a horrible person while watching it. As we all know, that is usually a recipe for a hit.

Just imagine 50 William Hungs singing their hearts out, desperately trying to prove everyone wrong who has told them their entire lives that they can’t sing. Now imagine Simon not only enjoying the performance but leading them to believe that they are great singers. No wait, it gets worse, much worse. Now imagine 50 Kelly Clarkson’s finally getting up the nerve to try out after years of training. Simon tells them that they are weak singers and in some cases going so far as to say they were disrespectful to the original artists while the eager contestants bawl their eyes out. If you have absolutely no conscience, it’s a great idea. They essentially took the most entertaining parts of American Idol, took it to Bizarro world and focused a whole show on it.

The problem is some people out there have a conscience. I don’t know many of them but I’ve heard they exist. And I think the buzz around this show won’t go away any time soon. Letters of outrage will be common and I’d guess a scattered lawsuit here and there will be coming. But the ratings will be sky high by seasons end. Stay tuned.

On the other end of the spectrum, American Idol pressed on this week with three very sweet and very tedious contestants. AI managed to lose what little credibility it had left last week by expelling the top student. This episode did nothing to improve consumer participation. There just wasn’t anything to get excited about. Fantasia isn’t even interesting. She doesn’t seem cocky anymore. I think she was humbled by her second bottom two in three weeks.

I realize this dead horse is taking a beating but things are reaching new lows. We are not quite there yet but we are becoming pretty close to Big Brother I standards. For those of you who weren’t on board for Big Brother I, and judging by the ratings that should be a lot of you, here is a play by play of someone who was there for every dreadful second.

They cast eight lackluster people and two that were somewhat interesting: the angry guy who fought with everyone and the stripper. Guess who were the first two to go? After that, things got so bad, it was actually quite good. The host, Julie Chen, was beyond horrendous. I never, ever thought I would utter the words, “God, I miss Jeff Probst.” But with Big Brother, it happened like twice a night. They tried all kinds of devices to save the program and nobody cared. They sent one of them to the Emmys and nobody cared. They introduced a cute dog as the new housemate and nobody cared. It got so bad that at one point that offered $50,000 for anyone to leave so they could introduce a new attractive female contestant to help boost ratings, but nobody took the deal and of course, nobody cared.

Well tonight on American Idol, things became too close for comfort to that level of reality hell. The show was long, boring and pointless, kind of like a Tony Soprano dream sequence. Jasmine tried to pull off Whitney with “Saving All my Love for You” and just didn’t have it. Fantasia followed with “Chain of Fools” which was nice but I was already a little bored at this point. Diana came out and screamed “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” at the top of her lungs which got a chuckle out of me.

Jasmine went after a long note with “All by Myself” that would have induced chills if she nailed it but as it were, it made me cringe a little. Simon then essentially begged her home state to stop voting for her. But I hope that doesn’t happen. In fact, I say we make Jasmine the next American Idol. Who’s with me? She’s the next best thing to John Stevens. If every single person who reads this article votes for Jasmine ten times, that’s over a hundred votes right there. Add that to the entire state of Hawaii voting 2,000 times a piece and she’s got a fighting chance.

I got somewhat excited when Fantasia sang a classic 80’s tune, “The Greatest Love of All”. But I felt like she butchered it. At one point it looked like she might tackle the microphone stand. The judges told her she nailed it although I think they were fibbing because they know she might be the only one who could sell a record or two. Diana closed nicely with “Don’t Cry Out Loud”.

In the end, I think FOX and CBS need to keep an eye on the WB. If something like Superstar can get green lighted on that network, anything’s possible. As appalling as it was, I was still riveted. If you remember, FOX got a foot in the reality door with “Who wants to marry a millionaire?” and they haven’t left yet. The WB might be the FOX of the next decade. They could possibly utilize the same shock treatment to ingratiate themselves into American homes.

I think the big boys need to realize they can’t continue to recycle the same old themes with limited changes. Survivor enjoyed a nice comeback with the Pearl Islands. The casting was phenomenal. You simply can’t say enough about Johnny Fairplay and his contributions to ratings. The return of the Outcasts was a great idea that sparked a water cooler buzz for a while. Sure, it was unfair, but it was still something to get excited about on Thursday night.

That’s the kind of thinking that needs to be applied to future shows. I hate to use the cliché term outside-the box but it definitely applies. Take a show that was once great and make improvements upon it to ensure that it stays great. If you don’t, there could be five major networks in a decade or so. As much as I hate to say it, I hope this if the first of many tasteless ideas from the new guys, if for nothing more than to keep the big timers on the run. People tend to rise to the level of expectation. If the WB pushes them, they’ll push back with new and sophisticated ideas to keep pace in the reality genre. I have almost totally given up on scripted television, especially after the nonsense the Sopranos put out on Sunday. They were doing so well too. So anything that promotes forward thinking in reality television, I’m all for it.

As for another boring week of AI, my prediction is that Jasmine finally goes. After a shocking week in which a power player goes home, the supporters of the other strong contestants usually come out of the woodwork and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Although, I haven’t had a prediction come true yet. So we could see Fantasia trying to look gracious while Jasmine covers her face in horror. Since I am going to hell anyway for enjoying Superstar, I’ll just go ahead and say it: I can’t wait.

Brian Moran is a freelance writer for WCNC.com. Click here to send him an email. For more Reality TV stories click here. To be added to the Reality Roundup mailing list to be alerted to new column submissions, click here.