10:50 AM EDT on Thursday, September 30, 2004

By BRIAN MORAN / Special to WCNC.com

Times must and always do change. No matter how strong something may appear, with a dab of positive alteration, it can always improve. The Apprentice is being stroked weekly by this concept. Change is upon us. It’s noticeable. It’s interesting. And it’s growing.

Last week, the Magic Eight Ball had all the say as a quasi-loony was sent home. This week the power was wielded by a couple of elderly “Jewish” (Jen’s word, not mine) women in blue jeans which had sane Stacy hopping mad. But the thing I took away from the latest installment of The Apprentice is the times, they are a changing.

For one, the basic format of the missions has changed drastically which has hampered the ability of the women to route the guys. If you’re wondering why the boardrooms seem more animated this year, it’s simple: It’s filled with women! I’m going to fill everyone in on a little secret I learned around the fourth grade. Girls don’t get along very well. In fact, they fight insatiably. And The Apprentice is the perfect place to showcase this.

As great as last years series was, I always felt cheated by the fact that we were never treated to an all woman boardroom. If you’ll remember, they dominated early on last year mainly because of the lack of business expertise of the missions. They were just marketing tents. Anybody who reads FHM magazine will have no problem understanding why they jumped out of the gate last year.

This year, that has been rectified. Mr. Trump or probably Mr. Burnett had the insight to see that sometimes changing a good thing is a good thing. These early missions have not been tailored to allow sex to sell. You can’t market toothpaste with a 50K budget by wearing a half shirt. You can’t offer somebody a kiss if they give you a good Zagat score. They didn’t say, “Hey, go out there and sell some ice cream girls” like they did with the lemonade. They said, “Develop and market a new ice cream flavor”, big difference.

Second, Carolyn is discernibly bitterer and I like it. And I don’t think I’m the only who notices that she is much more attractive this time around. (I know, it’s irrelevant but somebody has to say it.) Her bitterness can be attributed to how exhausting the boardroom exchanges have become for her. In her recent phone interview, she said that this year’s boardrooms run three to five hours at a clip. I’d be a little bitter myself. This can be attributed to the third drastic change, casting.

This show was cast for ratings and not for who’ll make the best Apprentice. Nobody will tell me differently. Last year had three or four decent candidates for the job, even this early on. As far as this year goes, I haven’t found one. Andy’s great but way too young. And Raj seems solid but he’s a tad eccentric. The only girl with half a chance is Pamela yet I think her start will hold her back. It's like watching American Idol 3.

Fourth, Bill Rancic stepping in for George was a nice change. At first, it seemed like a weak ploy but he did an excellent job. I like him saying that this wasn’t a game and aligning yourself with others is the quickest way to get sent home. It’s not only the truth but it’s a backhanded jab at Survivor at the same time.

Wednesday night’s mission embodied the lack of sex appeal theme. Their task was to take an empty restaurant space and get it up and running in a day. The winner would be the team scoring highest on the Zagat - the world's leading provider of consumer survey-based dining information - forms filled out by their patrons.

The girls lost ground on the guys because some elderly women felt the décor didn’t work. That proved to be enough. John edged the girls out by sprucing up the place with some pictures he called, “Green Circle” and “Blue Blob”. Seriously, they were of absolutely nothing but I guess they worked.

John actually took home the MVP award because four gentlemen who were rejected for “Queer Eye” were dinging the appetizers. For a little role reversal, the team sent the charismatic John out to do a twirl on the runway and it worked to perfection. Talk about change.

Then things really got good. Carolyn was especially hot and bothered in the boardroom. Jen C. did her butt-in routine and Carolyn gave her the Ross Gellar tone-it-down gesture while asserting, “easy…easy.” A second later, Jen was interrupting again. She then bought her own ticket home by selecting sane Stacy and uber-hot Elizabeth leaving out Sandy who was in charge of décor. Lizzy broke down and cried because she wasn’t allotted enough time to pass out pamphlets so that’ll fly. Stacy was there merely because she took offense to Jen using the word “Jewish” in a derogatory manner towards the décor haters. Considering she is Jewish, I think I’ll side with her as did Trump’s posse.

“This one’s an easy one Jen, you’re fired.”

Might I suggest one more change, it might be time to give some thought to the name. There are no Apprentices coming to the fore front. Nobody cares about who the next Apprentice will be. Heck, the supposed final two has already been exposed by gamblers (and gamblers are usually pretty trust worthy) and I haven’t even spent the time to read it. Yet the board room continues to dominate from week to week.

Next year, maybe its time to call the show by its proper name: “The Boardroom”.