Slideshow: Mike's Must Sees

I know I spend my “travel” journal babbling in nonsensical nonsequitor unamusing musings about my life too often. But today I’m providing actual useful information! Write this date down.

These are my must sees… my Top 10 most favorite things to do in the Carolinas for the holiday season. I’m counting them down for you from 10 to #1. (You likely won’t be able to do all these this year, but print the list out and work on it over time. You won’t regret it.)

Here we go:

#10. The National Gingerbread House Competition in Asheville, NC. Go to the historic Grove Park Inn and see the hundreds of the most glorious, elaborate, astounding gingerbread houses on display from Nov. 17 to Jan. 11. This is where they hold the national competition ever year. Competitors come from all over the country trying to win the crown. As a bonus, get there early or stay late and enjoy the Grove Park Inn’s enormous Great Hall fireplace. I swear it’s big enough to park a small car inside the hearth. Grab a hot chocolate, pull up a rocking chair and prepare to be mesmerized by the monstrous crackling fire in the boulder-walled main hall. For more info call 800-438-5800 or check their web site:

#9. Parade of Boats at The Battery in Charleston, SC. Go to Charleston the first Saturday night in December to watch boats from all over strung with thousands of Christmas lights parading by… followed by a fantastic fireworks display over the harbor. Best Christmas Parade ever, in my book. It’s Charleston, what else do you need to know? The boat parade and fireworks end at 7 PM and one of my favorite Charleston restaurants seats for dinner between 7 and 8 PM… PERFECT! Just make your restaurant reservations in advance.

Parade of Boats:

Robert’s of Charleston : 182 East Bay Street, Charleston, 29401, Phone: 800-977-7596

#8. Polar Express in the North Carolina High Country. All aboooooard! Grab your kids or grandkids, put pajamas on them and climb aboard! The Polar Express chugs along on the Great Smoky Mountain Railway out of Bryson City, NC. It runs most days from now until the end of December. Call or visit the web site for prices and reservations: 800-872-4681

#7. The Lights Before Christmas at the Riverbanks Zoo, Columbia, SC. This is very unusual for a couple reasons. First up it’s a great way to visit a zoo during the hours zoos are never open… at night in the dark! The other part is they jazz up the zoo with 1-million holiday lights. The lights are literally everywhere! And so are the animals. The display goes from Nov. 22 to Dec 30. Phone 803-779-8717 or visit the web site.

#6. Rauch Industries Christmas Ornament Warehouse Sale in Gastonia, NC. HUGE DISCOUNTS! This place manufactures nearly 200-million Christmas tree ornaments and holiday decorations every year. It’s one the largest ornament factories on earth. And this is their unannounced, never advertised, word-of-mouth, warehouse sale. It’s going to be a 3-day event this week, Thursday & Friday, Nov 20 & 21 from 8 AM to 4:30 PM and Saturday, Nov. 22 from 8 AM to Noon. You can call during normal business hours to confirm this, 704-867-5333… 2408 Forbes Road, Gastonia, NC 28056.

#5. Coolest (and greatest) Toy Store in the Southeast! O. P. Taylor’s Toy Store in Brevard, NC, has the creaky, old pine plank floors, and all of the wooden toys from your childhood (and your parent’s childhood). Want to buy the world’s greatest-ever toys? The old school ones? From the “Radio Flyer” wagons to the legendary wooden “Labyrinth” made in Sweden. This is the place. And you can test drive every toy or game in the store. I love this place! Phone 800-500-TOYS (8697) or visit the web site.

#4. America's Original Singing Christmas Tree! It’s 54th Season for this legendary Charlotte production. Most large American cities have an annual singing Christmas tree, but Charlotte is home to the first ever. Yes, it all started right here. Go see it! It’s emotional, visually stunning and a perfect way to set the tone for the Holidays. Enjoy the soaring perfect harmonies of Carolina Voices' MainStage Choir. But plan ahead because they have only three performances, 3 PM and 7:30 PM on Saturday Dec. 6 and 3 PM on Sunday Dec. 7… all at Ovens Auditorium in Charlotte. Order $18 - $30 tickets by phone 704-374-1564 or 704-372-1000 or 704-522-6500. Their web site has more details:

#3. Albemarle Model Train Wonderland! You have to call ahead to find out what days and hours this magical model train room is open to the public. But go see this! This is a place I visit just about every year. Jimmy Brown owns the place… it’s actually a true to life old-fashioned small-town music store in downtown Albemarle, NC, but upstairs from the music shop is Jimmy Browns model train fantasyland! I get e-mails all the time from people who took my advice and visited this place… they’re always amazed! A sight you just can’t see anywhere else. 704-982-3815, “Albemarle Music Store” at 235 West Main Street, Albemarle, NC, 28001.

#2. Christmas Town USA (McAdenville Lights)! Drive through this amazing small town where every single house and building is illuminated with holiday lights! It’s the law! McAdenville (or Christmas Town, USA, as they call themselves for the holidays) is between Charlotte and Gastonia, NC. The lights glow each night December 1 through December 26. Monday-Friday nights 5:30 until 9:30 and weekend nights 5:30 to 11. It’s free and great fun for a carload of merry makers. (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights are the least crowded.) Visit this web site to get directions and all your questions answered.

#1. The Gourd Lady at the Southern Christmas Show! You only have a few more days to do this so get on it! She’s 94 and there is no one earth like her! This woman is a legend. From her first appearance on Carolina Traveler to her big night on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Sparky Sparkman (AKA The Gourd Lady) has stolen millions of hearts with her charm, wit and oddly painted gourds. I have a half dozen in my house! Go to the Southern Christmas Show in Charlotte and meet this awesome woman. From Nov. 11 to Nov. 23 at The Park, formerly The Merchandise Mart, 2500 East Independence Blvd., Charlotte, NC, 28205

Southern Christmas Show

The Gourd Lady

Okay, I have a few others like where we go in the mountains to cut down our Christmas tree and have lunch at my favorite hole-in-the-wall nearby the Saturday after Thanksgiving… or my favorite midnight candlelight church service Christmas night, but I don’t want those places too crowded.

Also, if you do not celebrate Christmas and you are Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Agnostic, Atheist, Satan Worshipper or other, I apologize for not having anything specifically for you. I barely have time for my own religion, let alone ones I didn’t have beat into me as a child.

But here’s a little tip from a struggling Christian: you folks really need to work on your year-end celebration. Seriously. I think we get half our converts from your religions at Christmas. I mean come on! We have the baby Jesus so cute and cuddly offering us a clean start no matter our failures… a jolly, overweight father figure we call Santa bringing everyone joy and presents… perfectly shaped pine trees all dressed up for a party in our living rooms... a developmentally challenged reindeer we call Rudolph showing us that we all fit in somewhere… and our music! If you didn’t record Nat King Cole or Bing Crosby or Dean Martin singing your year-ender Holiday songs I’ll never pay attention to your religion. It’s just that simple. So get with it people.

All right, I’m off. (But you already knew that, didn’t you? …Way, way off.)

I may take the Holidays off from journal writing. I may not. Not sure yet. I usually like to take a long writing break at the end of each year to recharge and retool. If I do I’ll be back the beginning of January refreshed and as twisted as ever.

If you get lonely for me on Tuesdays, first see a doctor right away. Then you can go back through my previous journals and print them out and hold them close remembering all the good times we had in the past. But see a doctor no matter what. Something is definitely wrong with you.

Peace on earth,

Mike