CHARLOTTE, N.C. — If you ask me what the secret to fatherhood is, I believe it is a simple but loving formula: lead, love, listen, repeat. What was hard for me, leading my family, was that I didn't trust myself enough to lead. I would look at many of the decisions that I made and this consistent, nagging doubt would set it. Now that I think about it doubt didn't have to set in; doubt lived with me, and I made doubt comfortable.
I would often find myself in places of isolation because I feared whether or not I would damage my kids. I feared this! This fear gripped my understanding and caused me to reject any idea that could somehow change this preset notion. For many men, we live in this place. We live outside of ourselves. We acknowledge that we want better but never open on how to be better.
This is the telling story of fatherhood. All in all, I discovered that getting out of my own way was the best way to parent, and it was okay if we didn't always get it right. We must lead, even though mistakes are made. We must love unconditionally, even when it's hard, and listen to their hearts and receive them. The more we work at this we will eventually get it right. I did and I know you will also.