CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Panthers quarterback Cam Newton is now on YouTube allowing his fans to take a behind the scenes look at his life.

In Newton's first official vlog released on Thursday, he talks about the shoulder surgery he had back in January and the disappointment he felt following the 2018 season. 

Newton missed the last two games of the 2018 regular season as he dealt with shoulder soreness.

In the vlog titled, "what's wrong with my shoulder?" the video opens up with a shot of Newton right before surgery. The quarterback is lying on a hospital bed with a blue hospital gown and IV's running through his arm.

Newton also discusses what went wrong during the 2018 season -- and what went right.

"This year was rather interesting," Newton said. "A rollercoaster to say the least." 

Newton expressed that during the beginning of the season, he really thought they were Super Bowl contenders, but as the season progressed he knew the status of his arm was still uncertain. 

"Everything that we wanted to accomplish in the season was right in front of us," Newton said. "And then boom... everything switched." 

Newton opened up and said during the 4th and 5th games -- a time when they were constantly losing -- the loss really took a toll on him emotionally. He said his shoulder was also affecting him during the games as well. 

"My shoulder was just nagging all year," Newton said. 

In a sit-down interview portion of the vlog, Newton said he really takes it 'very offensive' when a person says you can't win them all. 

"Yes you can," Newton said. "You can win every single game. If they're keeping score I'm trying to win." 

A very vulnerable Newton also told his fans that he would sometimes punish himself if a game did not end with a win. 

"I would in some ways kind of punish myself," Newton said. "And it was like, I don't want to talk to nobody, I don't want to be around nobody." 

Newton said he would sometimes distance himself from those who mean the most to him. His family, his friends, and even his children. 

"I didn't want to be around them," Newton said. "I just kind of backed myself into this hole. And I was hurting." 

Newton said he felt so weak during those dark times. He said he felt scared, vulnerable and afraid. Newton said he just wasn't feeling himself. 

Newton also said the doubt and whispers from fans and 'haters' alike fueled him and said that's what really makes this comeback extraordinary for him. 

"I feel this is going to make me even more dangerous," Newton said. "When it's all said and done I can look back at my life and I know that this particular time in my life propelled me to the next point." 

Newton hopes this new channel will help others connect with him, both on and off the field. 

"I want this [YouTube channel] to be a little different," Newton said. "I want to have a little bit more 'drip,' 'swag,' 'sauce,' all of that."

The Panthers quarterback said he has a lot in store for the future, both on and off the field. 

"I want to take you guys on this journey with me, " Newton said closing out the vlog.