'We're the lucky ones': Charlotte couple overcomes broken foster care system to adopt young girls
The foster care system was broken long before the pandemic but now it's a total mess, leaving hundreds of kids in limbo waiting to hear who they'll call mom or dad.
Hundreds of kids are in foster care right now in Mecklenburg County, waiting to hear who they'll call mom or dad. But there aren't nearly enough foster families for all the kids who need them.
The foster care system was broken long before COVID-19, but now it's a mess for families trying to adopt children they've provided care for.
One Charlotte family spent years trying to adopt two little girls and just finalized everything a few weeks ago. What needs to change? Will the system ever catch up, and what happens to the kids caught in the middle?
This family set out to be a stopover place for kids going through difficult times, but they soon switched gears and decided to adopt. The only problem is there was nothing quick about the process. It took almost four years, shining a spotlight on a broken system that's worse than ever thanks to the pandemic.
'The hardest thing we’ve ever done but also the most beautiful ' The Leonards originally planed to foster many kids for short times. Things changed quickly
There are some things you just want your mom to take care of.
In the Leonard household, there is one child on the floor playing with her dad and some toys. Her younger sister is sitting on the kitchen counter getting a Band-Aid for a boo-boo.
"There you go. Feel better now?" Robin Leonard told her daughter. "Can I have a kiss? Love you."
Fostering these little girls has been more than the family ever dreamed of.
"It's amazing," Robin said. "It's been the hardest thing we've ever done but also the most beautiful."
Robin and Beau Leonard were almost empty nesters. They had two kids in college and two more almost there when a friend became a foster parent. This prompted them to immediately sign up, too.
"Our goal initially was to have 100 kids a few weeks [or] months at a time," Beau said. "We just wanted a place where kids could have a temporary situation. That's what we thought we would provide."
And then the second child came into their home. A 13-month-old little girl in January 2019.
"She had just not been taken care of," Robin said. "She was really dirty. The way she acted the first time we gave her a bath I don't know if she'd ever had a bath."
They immediately fell in love.
"Bringing her in and watching the transformation, watching her smile come back, find words, learn how to play, gobble down food, it was just an amazing thing to be a part of," Robin Leonard said.
Originally, they thought she'd stay for a week but attempts to find another family member to care for her fell flat. Then they got another surprise. Leah would soon have a sibling.
"She'd been with us three or four months when we learned she was going to be a big sister and she had a full-blooded sister on the way," Beau said. "So Hattie was born a few days short of a year when we got Leah and she's been with us since she was 2 days old."
Ordinary people doing extraordinary things When no one else could care for the girls, the Leonards immediately chose to adopt. But it was a long, tedious and frustrating process.
When social workers told the Leonards there was no one in the family fit to take the girls, they immediately decided to adopt. But it would take three long and difficult years to complete the process.
"You're having monthly visits and court dates and you're working with biological parents and social workers," Robin Leonard said. "There's a lot of outside stress that comes into it. That's the hard part and the unknowing of what tomorrow is going to bring."
Changes to the girls' case workers also dragged out the process.
"Because the cases took so long, there were judges that came and went from family court and we also had some changes in attorneys for county and DSS," Beau said. "There were a lot of people coming and going and it felt like we had to start over every time there was a new person."
The turbulence surrounding the situation was especially difficult on Leah.
"Leah is very bright and aware and she knew just enough to know, 'my last name is different when I go to school,'" Robin said. "She had enough to have this yearning for permanency and when the adoption came through for her, she felt such relief and happiness, which was so special to be a part of."
Leah is now 5. Hattie's 3. The Leonards say their family will never be the same and they're grateful for that.
"We're nothing special," Robin said. "We're just ordinary people that got to do an extraordinary thing and it's changed every single one of us."
The couple's oldest daughter, Molly, went through training to be a foster mom. Their daughter Ellie is in college studying to be a social worker.
"Life is full and it's good and there's so much laughter," Robin said. "I'm not trying to romanticize it. There are hard days and it's exhausting but it's amazing and there are amazing things to be a part of.
All the time people say the girls are so lucky and we feel the opposite. We feel like we're the lucky ones to have them in our house."
Editor's note: While working on this story, WCNC Charlotte uncovered a shocking secret about what happens to kids in Charlotte when there's no place for them to go. We'll have that part of the story Thursday.
Contact Michelle Boudin at mboudin@wcnc.com and follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
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